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About Photography by Heather Brandt

Photographs first captured my imagination when I was a child daydreaming over sepia and black & white images of family long gone. Now photography is my tool for storytelling and capturing the beauty of my family (and yours!) I will use my creativity and skill to celebrate your family through photography.

Hope & Grief Mingled

We celebrated our baby girl’s first birthday at the end of September.  dara pouty lips while eating cake Amazing to realize how far she’s come since I first met her in October of 2010 when she was less than 3 lbs!  Now she is 21 lbs+ and a healthy cruising baby (walking is bound to be soon with all her cruising and almost standing alone).dara & shoe

She is very serious about eating as demonstrated in the photo of her eating birthday cake.

One of her favorite birthday presents was a pair of new shoes…what girl doesn’t like a new pair of shoes….to eat!!

Within days of D’s first birthday, we found out that we were unexpectedly pregnant.   I say unexpectedly because according to the doctor who performed Alan’s surgery several years ago & tested him afterwards we were not supposed pregnancy positive test 2011 Octoberto be pregnant….We are talking about very low percentage of chance.  We believe the pregnancy was due to Alan and I finding out we were dairy intolerant & gluten intolerant and changing our diets (about a year ago I changed first and then Alan changed after the first towards the first of the year…)…and that it was a miraculous gift from God.

Instead of celebrating our pregnancy as we near the end of October, we find ourselves mourning the loss of our little one.  At about 6 weeks into the first trimester, I had a miscarriage.  Not sure of the reason which is often the case though we’re investigating whether I could have low progesterone or any other deficiencies.  We don’t know if we will ever get pregnant again but we are more hopeful than we were before the pregnancy.

Miscarriage…not something I hear people talk openly about very often so I feel like I need to talk about it here because miscarriage is not a dirty word; it’s not something that has to be kept secret (unless someone wants to do so).  Blog writing used to be therapeutic for me when I was waiting for our children in the adoption process and it is still something I crave when I’m trying to process difficult emotions so I’m taking time to write about our miscarriage here (and do so in future blog postings) because writing may also help me to heal emotionally from the whirlwind experience of surprise, joy, and grief….all mingled together.

What else helps while my body is healing and my heart is heavy with joy and grief?  My sweet miracles of children with whom God has blessed me.

Love love love my precious C & D.  They mColin & Dara at the zooake my heart smile :)

Heather

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7 Responses to “Hope & Grief Mingled”

  1. Jeanette dini says:

    Heather…. Ah….wow. 1st thank you for sharing…2nd… I’m very sad for you. You must have been so shocked to be pregnant and then excited and then heart broken. I’ve had 3 so I know how many different emotions you can experience. Big hugs from your friends here in California. Please keep sharing if you wish and remember there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. Xxoo. Jeanette

  2. Beryl says:

    Hugs Heather for your bravery in sharing this post. I know we’ve chatted a little but the combo of both photography and blogging were so unbelievably therapeutic for me as I processed the emotions after our loss. Hug those babies you do have there with you tight and use this space to remember the one you lost. I’m here for you if you need anything. xoxo.

    P.S. When is D’s birthday? Our Brielle has her 1st bday on Sept. 26th and we’re close to standing/walking too!! Yikes!

    • hbphotos says:

      Beryl–Thanks for your comment on blog post. I appreciate you sharing & talking with me via email. D’s birthday is 9/28 so they are almost the same age! D’s reach has gotten so long that we’re in the scary stage of pulling things off on herself. She has stood a little recently by herself (short time) so walking will happen (I think) by Christmas at the latest…just in time for decorations to entice her :0

  3. BettyAnn says:

    Heather,

    Children are a blessing from God!! Given our shared experiences of the adoption road, I know how much C & D are cherished. I truly am sorry for your loss. I was told years ago, I had less than a 1% chance of ever conceiving due to medical issues. Yet, my son, God’s miracle baby, will be 16 on December 6th. God has plans for each of us and Hope is His gift to those of us who trust in Him and lean on Him… God’s blessing on you, Alan, C & D!

    BettyAnn

  4. Jennifer L. says:

    Heather-My heart aches for you and your family. I know the feeling of a loss of a child (actually two). I miscarried twins in 2000. They were conjoined, so we know what caused it. If there is one thing that I have learned from that experience and so many others is that everything happens in God’s time. I find comfort in knowing that when I get to my final home in heaven, my baby girls will be there waiting for me. I will keep you and your precious family in my prayers.

    On a lighter note, your babies are BEAUTIFUL! I know that you are one very proud momma. I am also confident that Alan is so very proud of you for the work you do to raise your babies.

    Blessings,
    Jennifer Davis Lamb

  5. Jenny L says:

    Oh, Heather. I am so sorry. It sucks to lose a child, at whatever age or gestation, and I am so sorry. C&D are so amazing, and you amaze me every day. You make me a better mom.

    • kathy bain says:

      Heather, How my heart aches for you and with you! Oh, how I would love to give you a big hug and hold you in my arms for as long as you needed. As your Mom, I want to be with you and help all I can. I am so sorry not to be there. Dad and I are praying, asking the Lord to heal your body and strengthen you.

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