We celebrated our baby girl’s first birthday at the end of September.  Amazing to realize how far she’s come since I first met her in October of 2010 when she was less than 3 lbs!  Now she is 21 lbs+ and a healthy cruising baby (walking is bound to be soon with all her cruising and almost standing alone).

She is very serious about eating as demonstrated in the photo of her eating birthday cake.

One of her favorite birthday presents was a pair of new shoes…what girl doesn’t like a new pair of shoes….to eat!!

Within days of D’s first birthday, we found out that we were unexpectedly pregnant.   I say unexpectedly because according to the doctor who performed Alan’s surgery several years ago & tested him afterwards we were not supposed to be pregnant….We are talking about very low percentage of chance.  We believe the pregnancy was due to Alan and I finding out we were dairy intolerant & gluten intolerant and changing our diets (about a year ago I changed first and then Alan changed after the first towards the first of the year…)…and that it was a miraculous gift from God.

Instead of celebrating our pregnancy as we near the end of October, we find ourselves mourning the loss of our little one.  At about 6 weeks into the first trimester, I had a miscarriage.  Not sure of the reason which is often the case though we’re investigating whether I could have low progesterone or any other deficiencies.  We don’t know if we will ever get pregnant again but we are more hopeful than we were before the pregnancy.

Miscarriage…not something I hear people talk openly about very often so I feel like I need to talk about it here because miscarriage is not a dirty word; it’s not something that has to be kept secret (unless someone wants to do so).  Blog writing used to be therapeutic for me when I was waiting for our children in the adoption process and it is still something I crave when I’m trying to process difficult emotions so I’m taking time to write about our miscarriage here (and do so in future blog postings) because writing may also help me to heal emotionally from the whirlwind experience of surprise, joy, and grief….all mingled together.

What else helps while my body is healing and my heart is heavy with joy and grief?  My sweet miracles of children with whom God has blessed me.

Love love love my precious C & D.  They make my heart smile

Heather